Naturally, people shy from sharing such problems of mind but we need to discuss it to our guru or counselor and recover. Also, the recovery can’t be overnight. One needs to fight.
The answer is given in Bhagwat Gita itself:
ध्यायतो विषयान्पुंसः सङ्गस्तेषूपजायते।
सङ्गात् संजायते कामः कामात्क्रोधोऽभिजायते।।2.62।।
To a man thinking about sense-objects, there arises attachment to them; form attachment arises desire, from desire arises anger
It’s a complete cycle. If you are able to control on the very first step, it can win over. Once, it reaches forward the first level, it’s too difficult to restrain.
- Dhyayato: Observing the matter. It’s our common nature to get attracted toward the matters pleasing to senses. Especially, in this era of internet, everything is available at single click. Our mind do have have tendency to land on those websites.
- Sangah: Once you look at some sensually-pleasuring object, you starts contemplating on it. You think again and again and thus you become attached to the matter. ATTACHMENT (संग) toward the matter develops. Though he controls the senses, contemplation on sense-objects is unavoidable on account of the impressions of sins from time immemorial.
- kamah: From ‘Attachment’ comes ‘desire to get it’. Suppose you looked at a beautiful mobile of your neighbor. You started thinking about it. Gradually, you develop an ‘attachment’ toward it then arises the desire to possess it. You want it now at any cost.
- Krodh: Anger arises when our lust is not fulfilled. Behind any anger is some unfulfilled desire. From anger comes delusion; from delusion, the loss of memory; from the loss of memory. Then we forget the shastras, knowledge gained through experience.
If you are not able to control it right at the very first step, senses would have life of its own. once senses have life of it’s own, they pull us forcibly toward the object of pleasure.
How to overcome?
- Dhyayato: Whatever we watch, whatever you hear and whatever you read have an effect on our ‘character.’ Be careful and selective in that. Avoid being with people who are dipped in sensual-pleasures. Remain constantly in contact with people who are practicing restrainment of senses.
Whenever you watches any female/male body or any other objects like cars and mobiles, make it a habit to meditate that within it resides Brahman in form of Antaryaami.
एतन्मांसवसादिविकारं मनसि विचिन्तय वारं वारम् ॥३॥
These are nothing but a modification of flesh. Fail not to remember this again and again in your mind.
Within that body is the aatman which is neither male nor female nor even trans-zender.
Within that aatman resides Parmatma i.e. Bhagwaan Sriman Narayan in Antaryaami form. Thus, the aatman is the body of Parmatma. Whatever you see, the rivers, the mountains, handsome boys, beautiful girls; they all are the body of Brahman.
Try to bring this knowledge memory forcibly, again and again. Then it would become natural. Once it happens, you would develop a divine pleasure.
2. Sangah: Then you would get attached to the divine antaryaami form of lord, who resides within everyone, above everyone, below everyone. Within whom everyone resides and everyone resides within whom.
3. Kaamah: From this attachment would come desire to get that parmatman.
4. Krodh: From this strong desire would develop anger toward anything hindering you from experiencing the parmatman. Thus, you would develop ‘vairagyam’.
I just gave details of my personal experiances as a Sadhaka. Kindly excuse me for wrong interpretations, if any.
Look into the eyes of Swami. have you seen any eyes more enticing than these divine ones?